Thursday, September 22, 2011

Keep Default Terms Male

I'm reading this book called the "The Gargoyle", when I happened to look on the back of the book, and read the reviews and praises listed on it. There was this one review by a guy named Peter Straub that pissed me off:

"This book plucks the reader off the ground and whirls her through the air until she shouts from sheer abandonment and joy."

Whirls her though the air until she shouts?

Forget for a second that this is possibly the gayest thing anyone's ever said about a novel, and forget for a second that this Straub guy just wants to seem like some artsy poetic genius. What's with all these feminine pronouns? Oh wait, I already answered my own question; the psuedo-artsy poet thing.

Men have always been the ones that moved society, and are still responsible for most major events, whether good or bad. That's why the term "mankind" was made; to reflect that. Can you imagine how stupid refering to the human race as "ladykind" would be? What images does your mind conjure up when you hear "ladykind"? Do you imagine a whole race of beings living together on one planet, like you would with "mankind"? No. "Ladykind" makes you think of a squeeling Dr. Phil audience.

This is a stupid trend that needs to stop. But what's the harm, you say? Well let's put swapping male indentifiers for female ones to the test:

Imagine going home late one night, when someone sneeks up behind you, puts a gun your head, ties you up facing a corner, then proceeds to rob you. When you finally get loose, you call the cops and say "Some guy just tied me up and robbed my house!" The cops will then come, ask you some questions, and maybe find the perp who robbed you, and maybe get some of your stuff back.

Now, imagine the same scenerio, but this time, you call the cops and say "Some gal just tied me up and robbed my house!" You tell the cop that "she" tied you up, and "she" put a gun to your head. The cops are now looking for a female suspect. They never find the perp because you eliminated fifty percent of all the possible suspects by being a contemporary artsy douchebag. The perp continues wearing all your jewelry, walks around enjoying your expensive new iPod after erasing all your shitty Bob Dylan songs (which you have because you're a contemporary artsy douchebag).

In the first scenerio, even if the robber's a woman, using "he" would still get the job done. The cops may investigate and find out you were simply wrong because it was dark and you couldn't see. But if you're a douchebag who has to show just how fucking modern and contemporary you are by using "she", you will just be some asshole missing HIS shit, because even even though most crimes are commited by males, the cops are looking for a woman because you just had to be a contemporary artsy douchebag.

Stop trying to show the world how cool and "with it" you are by using "she" and other female specific terms as the default one. You're not helping women's suffrage. You're not making the world a better place and bringing equality to the sexes. You just sound stupid.

1 comment: